Seana Sperling

Shoot the Messenger: Blame the Victim

In Civil Rights, Education, Mobbing, Politics, World Relations on June 15, 2017 at 22:14

By Seana Sperling

An article in The Nation by Jessica Valenti, In Rape Tragedies, The Shame is Ours May 6, 2013, addresses victim blaming and how some rape victims are even punished by a judgmental public. According to Valenti, a woman can be labeled a slut for being a victim.

An indifferent society asks: “Why were you wearing that? Why were you at that party? What did you expect when you joined the Military with a bunch of guys? Were you drinking or high?” They do not ask these questions of someone who was robbed, stabbed, beaten, or any other types of assault. This is all about the endemic misogyny that has been percolating in this country for well over two decades.

I believe this attitude evolved from the Moral Majority take-over of mainstream media in the late 1980s, which allowed the bullies to take shots at Feminists and all strong women. The term Femi-Nazi, was popularized and used to put the “girls,” in their place by the Far Right. Dial up to the new millennium: The 2013 Academy Awards was a shaming of strong and talented women in the Industry. Seth McFarlane’s all male chorus line, danced to the self-righteous refrain of, “We saw your boobs.” It is evident that the upcoming generation is being taught that being sexist is the American way. This type of discrimination can lead to more serious issues.

There has been an upswing in violence against women. Recently there was a report on NPR about rape on college campuses and the percentage of male college students who had date-raped or raped. The percentage of sex offenders was astounding. Also, most of the assaults had gone unreported. http://www.wbur.org/2014/07/11/sexual-assault-campus-roundtable

It is very hard for a victim to report rape because there is such a lack of support for the victim and some in the community even turn on them. http://www.npr.org/2014/04/06/299521814/students-stories-of-sexual-assault-puts-schools-to-blame-too Some people will even go so far as to deny that this happened to the female making the report. Some may shun the victim or even persecute them further.

The summer of 2006, I would come home and find my door unlocked to my Capitol Hill apartment in Seattle. Nothing had been stolen, but my file cabinet had been gone through and things were moved around a bit. All of my passwords had been accessed as well. The locksmith said it sounded like stalking when he changed the locks for me.

In late September, I was drugged in my home and later assaulted while unconscious during a night break-in. I believe they put something in the open bottle of wine that was on the kitchen counter during the day. Later, when I came home from work, I drank a glass and a half from it. (I think the criminal/s took pictures during the crime and posted them on the Internet because after that, something went viral. It was as if the entire community had turned against me. They were treating me as if I were some kind of crazy pervert that they were trying to drive from the community. I remember the hideous smile of satisfaction on my upstairs neighbor’s face after that night.)

I was in shock and didn’t tell friends until a month after it happened. I had so much to deal with. I had just transitioned from part time to a permanent position at my college in our insanely busy office and I had to move from the apartment as soon as I could. I needed to get to a safer environment and deal with my own denial of the assault and the emotional upheaval that accompanies such a crisis. I reported the break-in, but not the assault. The lone Police officer that showed up did not even take prints and there were obvious signs of the break-in.

I finally told a woman who I thought was a close friend. Her first reaction was, “You weren’t raped. If you say you were raped, I can’t be your friend.” I was astonished. Why would anyone say that to a friend? It was as if she did not want me to report the assault. I spoke to the Police right after that. I cut ties with this person and within a year I’d heard she had moved back to the East Coast. I’m not sure what she was afraid of. The Police never followed up after the second interview.

After I began telling friends, my emotions got the best of me, and one day at work I broke down in tears. I had just moved again and I was exhausted from lack of sleep caused by my hyper vigilant state. I was also dealing with organized bullying from the community, which I can only assume was triggered by whatever the criminal/s had posted online. One Neo-conservative Christian woman in my office glared at me for being upset that day. I wonder how she would have reacted under the same conditions. This is an example of people going after the victim and Law Enforcement not doing their duty. It is no wonder that so many assaults go unreported.

About one year later in 2007, I saw a young male student from China at our college with a truck driver cap that had RAPE in rainbow mylar printed across the front. I wondered if he would still wear this cap if he became a victim of rape. His cavalier attitude towards this type of assault showed his maturity level and his sexism. I wanted to say something to him about the cap, but I didn’t. Evidently no one said anything because he continued to wear it all quarter. Would he have worn a cap that said GAY BASHING or WOMAN BEATER or CHILD MOLESTOR? Somehow a cap that said RAPE was perfectly acceptable to him as well as the community.

Rape is the type of assault that you do not heal from quickly. It does not make you become crazy, paranoid, etc. but it does make you very aware of your surroundings. You become hyper vigilant. In my case, I pulled away from people that were not supportive and that I felt I could not trust any more. This was much more about self-preservation than paranoia. If people are not supportive when you have suffered such trauma, then you need to leave them. You are better off alone than being with abusive people.

If someone claims they were raped, don’t think, “That’s impossible. Bad things like that don’t happen here.” Unfortunately, bad things do happen everywhere and even to good people. No one deserves to be raped. No one is looking for it. The same thing can be said about bullying. No one, “Asks for it.”

The Rent Control Quandary

In Bullying, Civil Rights, Economy, Mobbing, Politics on June 15, 2017 at 22:07

By Seana Sperling

When I moved back to Seattle in 1993, rent for a basic one bedroom was around $500.00 and studios were $300.00 to $400.00. A nice one bedroom in a secured building was around $700.00 per month. Rents have soared over the last twenty years, while wages have not. In Seattle you pay around $1000.00 or more for a basic one bedroom with no amenities. Either the wages need to rise to meet inflation or homes need to be affordable.

In the late 1970s, I rented a studio apartment for $80.00 a month. It was not fancy and the laundry was a coin-op down the street. At the time I earned $500.00 a month (after taxes) as a bookkeeping clerk, so my rent was less than a fifth of my take-home salary. Now my rent is nearly half of my take-home pay and I am an Adviser at a college. Granted the 1970s was a long time ago, however, the disparity between the percentage of rent paid, compared to money earned in the 1970s when compared to today’s percentages is huge.

According to www.rentjungle.com one bedroom apartments in Seattle are $1381 a month on average and two bedroom apartments average $1846 per month. These rent.com sites generally feature higher-end apartment buildings that may be in popular locations like Capitol Hill, Queen Anne and downtown. Most buildings also have many amenities such as a pool or a gym. I believe sites like these are contributing to the rise in prices of regular apartments for property managers and landowners may see this as market value, thus prompting them to increase rents on less well-appointed apartments.

I asked one property manager why a small apartment that was lacking amenities, was so expensive and she told me that was the market rate. Is it the market rate for an apartment in a newly built building with a dishwasher and washer and dryer in every unit, and a gym, or is it the market rate for a basic apartment with no amenities?

There has been much talk about raising the minimum wage to $15.00 an hour because of the high cost of living in Seattle. Either the cost of living has to be met by the employers or the landowners/property management companies need to make abodes more cost-friendly. Do we need Rent Control like they have in many major cities or do we need an increase in the minimum wage to $15.00 per hour?

Although I think a raise in the minimum wage is reasonable, I vote first for Rent Control. All the arguments I have heard for why the landowners have to raise rents seem flimsy (market rate, rise in property taxes). In fact it seems that some are just pushing for whatever they can get away with. Without Rent Control management companies or landowners can charge whatever they want for any type of apartment. This has priced many out of the Seattle area and they have half to one-hour commutes each day for work. The high costs have also contributed to homelessness. I have seen many apartment advertisements on craigslist that demand $1050.00 rent, first and last as well as an additional deposit. If it costs someone approximately $2600.00 to move in, many prospective tenants will be eliminated. (Also, I believe charging first, last and a deposit is in direct violation of Tenant/Landlord Laws.)

Another issue with the hikes in rent is that many property management companies follow a corporate model, so some are very disconnected from the needs of the tenants. Being a corporation creates a divide between the company’s goals (profit margin) and the needs of people. It is easier to distance oneself from a “complaining,” tenant by saying that this is our corporate policy. Sorry. “You aren’t a team player.” Many property management companies (not all) seem more concerned about their commissions and the happiness of their “clients,” (the landowners), than the tenants trying to pay for their home.

With the growing number of property management companies, there is no longer a connection with landlord and tenant, but only corporate property manager and tenant. Many times you do not even know who owns your building unless you check the Tax Assessor’s page and look for the parcel by address. (It turns out some rich landowners do not like to be tracked down, but sometimes tenants need to contact them.)

In many cases there is not even an onsite manager (a Super) as property managers often stretch their Supers between two or three buildings. This is hard on the Super as well as the tenant.

Housing is a basic need, so when rents are unaffordable, this does direct harm to the citizenry. I have rented from a lot of different people throughout my life and the best situations, for the most part, were when the owners ran their own buildings. They cared more about their tenants, made repairs in a timely manner and did not jack up the rents arbitrarily. I lived in one building for six years and moved back for two more years after a three-year absence just because the landlord was such a good and trust-worthy person.

The fault is ours. People have become too passive and do not question the landowners or management companies. Of course some fear retaliation. It is difficult to stand up to the person that has the keys to your home and many fear retaliation.

I have been retaliated against for standing up to property managers. I confronted some about false advertising (advertising a studio as a one bedroom), not keeping promises made at the lease signing (refusing to let the tenant paint or even put up a small shelf, 2004), and raising rent without appropriate notice, 2007. From 2004 to 2006, it seems that a neo-conservative property manager may have been stalking me through my credit report. Her property management company had been listed as one of my creditors, and every time I moved or changed jobs and a search was done on my credit history, she must have been alerted and I had no idea.

I had break-ins and stolen mail in 2006, so I set up a fraud alert at my bank. When I received the initial fraud alert report, I saw her company name, slightly modified, in the section that listed just my creditors, thus she would have been contacted any time someone did a credit check on me. Her property management company should have only been listed in the history of companies doing a credit inquiry. I had her removed from my creditors list immediately.

At this point so much damage had been done to my on and offline reputation, which was causing problems everywhere I moved and at the new job I had just started. Another onsite manager connected to the same agency told me that this property manager went after me initially because she did not like my Impeach Bush sign (which was not in the window of that apartment, but had been in my previous apartment). I also heard that she had become even more furious after I tracked down the landowner to get out of my lease, so I could move away from the abuse that was taking place in that building.

Not long after that in 2005, another neo-conservative property manager and his onsite manager on top of Queen Anne hill, played all sorts of games starting when I moved in that October, such as breaking promises that had been made at the lease signing. Later that December, I found a particularly nasty mold on the wall behind my bed. It was not evident when I initially looked at the place and the onsite manager did not alert me to it. (A former tenant told me that management was already aware of it. That tenant had had the same problem with mold growing on the walls and the property management company had charged him for it when he moved. He was not happy.)

Even though I bleached the walls, the mold grew back and was making me ill, so I called the city about it and an inspector came out. This so enraged the property manager that he sent one of his henchmen over to saw off the bottom of my bathroom door that connected to my bedroom, claiming this must be the source of the mold and blamed me for not ventilating properly. The onsite manager was inferring that I had deliberately caused the mold and inferred that I was trying to run some sort of scam. Then the property manager’s lawyer sent me a strange letter demanding I fill out a form and send it back to them. I signed nothing and contacted Tenants Union about the mold. I was released from my lease in January 2006 after weeks of emails from the property manager telling me, I was a “complainer,” and that if it was so bad, then I should hurry and “flee.” I suppose he worried that other tenants might find out about the mold because it was likely happening to others in the building.

Later, in 2008, I found multiple postings on www.rottenneighbor.com accusing me of being a child molester, redneck, dishonest person, and more terrible libel. There was one funny one however. The post read, “She will steal your husband!” (I believe the more serious libel has triggered organized bullying, e-personation and stalking from the community. Some self-righteous people love mobbing and love to punish others even if they have no proof that the person has done anything wrong.)

Yes, I have been retaliated against, and yes, it is painful and has cost me friends, horrible damage to my reputation and caused terrible mobbing by the community, but we cannot be fearful of tyrants. Not all property managers or landlords are tyrants, but unfortunately, the tyrants make the good people look bad. So, don’t blame the tenant or the worker for standing up. Don’t blame Tenant’s Union or SeaSol or any other person or group that is standing up for the rights of others. Go to the source of the problem and demand your rights.

The Culture of Sameness Lament

In Civil Rights, Education, World Relations on June 15, 2017 at 22:05

By Seana Sperling

I returned to Seattle in 1993, and Broadway on Capital Hill had lots of charming little coffee places, book stores, thrift stores, and a Lock and Key store with a live cat in the window (most of the time). Q Patrol was out on Friday and Saturday nights and made the entire community (both LGBT and straight) feel safer. Grunge Rockers paraded down Broadway in torn jeans and plaid lumberjack shirts, with assorted chains dangling from pocket wallets, while alternators with magenta, green or blue hair raided thrift stores for 50’s and 60’s clothing. Drag Queens were not confined to Pride and small venues, but strolled freely on Broadway any time they felt like it. Now an Office Max and a Bank of America has replaced the thrift shop and bagel place, and the Language school where I worked for eight years.

There seems to be a growing social trend in Seattle to be linked up, grouped up, dressed-up: cookie-cutter-style and it seems that few people want to think independently any more. Everyone wears skinny jeans and hoodies (including myself). It reminds me of a toy store shelf filled with Barbies that all have the same shapes and faces.

A scarier reality is that very few are looking to be different in action, thought and deed as well. The creation of the Flash Mob exemplifies this. If everyone else is doing it, it isn’t scary. Most like to follow rather than lead. This is the popular trend in behavior.

It seems that the culture of sameness has even filtered into our lexicon. Have you noticed how “Thank you so much,” has become prevalent in the media and also fashionable for many that work in customer service? I first heard this phrase from an adult student from Japan in 1994. When he said the words, it sounded very sincere and I started using the phrase. Then in the new millennium, everyone and their hamster began saying, “Thank you so much.” Due to overuse, the phrase lost its’ charm for me, so I stopped using it. When I hear some people say it now, it sounds snarky.

The attitude of sameness is reflected in the profusion of boxes, I mean buildings, that are being erected in the city. There are cranes everywhere, erecting boxes of housing, boxes of offices, boxes of retail and garage space and boxes of who knows what else. Even though some have kept the historic façade, what lay within is still a box. It is interesting how a town’s architecture can reflect a pervasive attitude.

There were so many distinctive spots in Seattle in the early 1990s, like The Cyclops (the old one), Septieme (Belltown), and the Blob in lower Queen Anne. (The Blob was not the real name as it had many incarnations). There were many more, but now all are specters buried beneath the glittering condominiums that replaced them.

Art culture has also been affected. Just recently I heard that both The Varsity and The Harvard Exit theaters are shuttering and who knows what cineplex or condominium will replace them. We have lost other resources for independent art as well. Consolidated Works in South Lake Union was among the many innovative venues lost. Con Works had multiple forms of art: theater, film, a gallery featuring local artists, etc. Then it was stolen from its’ creator and a few years later shut down. I wonder what the developers have turned it into. Pacific Northwest Ballet will stop using Maurice Sendak’s set designs for the Nut Cracker in 2015. I wonder what they will be replaced with. Perhaps it will be Disney characters?

Once in a while I will see one of my neighbors decked out in glorious purple from his beard to his boots. I wave to him and recall the earlier years of Seattle when independent thinking in style of dress, mannerism, etc. was not the exception, but the rule. I applaud his independent spirit.